Why people get angry

All of my life I have dealt with anger. When I was younger that anger would sometimes exhibit itself in rage. It is encouraging to think that in getting older the anger is changed, not by mellowing out, but by Christ's daily work in me. A very encouraging passage dealing with anger is James 4:1-10. There, God in His mercy and grace, reveals to us the source of our anger and what He has done to enable us to resolve anger in our lives.

James 4:1-10
1. The reason we get angry and fight and divide, according to James, is that we want something and are unable to get it. Another way to look at it is to realize we want something and someone gets in our way. The something we want may be perfectly normal such as comfort, security, a good meal, respect, etc. The problem starts when we want it so much we are willing to get mad if it does not happen. The anger does not come from outside of us. Scripture says it comes from within. An illustration of that would be to take a water bottle, remove the cap, and shake the bottle. The result: water comes out. The reason water came out is because water was inside. It is the same with anger.
2. God's solution is so encouraging because He does not say the answer is to not be angry. He tells us at least 3 things to do:
Submit to Him - this is tough because it means I acknowledge His authority and control. It means I am going to do things His way instead of mine. One reason a conflict can get pretty messy is that I do things my way (the definition of pride). As a result He says He resists me; things just get worse.
Draw near to Him - He promises to draw near to me. The hardest thing to do in an argument is to stop and say, "Let's quit this and pray right now." But that is what He says to do.
Make it right - I need to ask the other for their forgiveness. After my wife and I have had a "domestic dialogue," we find ourselves saying: "What is it we wanted and were so willing to fight each other for?"
Anger is destructive but God's grace is greater than my anger.