Why Isn't God Doing Anything in My Life?

A common question but the wrong one to ask. The more accurate question is: What is God doing in my life, and why am I missing it? Most of the days of our lives is made up of the routine and mundane. We are not normally facing critical, life-changing, painful circumstances. Our days consist of little moments that often seem meaningless.
Proverbs 17:3 captures what God is up to in my life daily. "The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests the heart." It is common to think of God's tests as the pass/fail kind because that is the kind of tests we are used to. However, God's test are of a different variety with a very different goal. Precious metal is refined by heat. So are we who profess to know Christ. From this verse, among others, God shows us that He will bring difficulties into our lives to first of all, reveal the impurities of our hearts (what we love, want, fear more than Him). The second purpose is to remove those impurities because the testing of our faith is more precious to Him than what is normally most precious to me. Every day I face difficulties that do not seem to be major but small yet still out of my control. They come in a gazillion ways: something breaks, someone is late, a deadline unmet, someone gets in my way, etc, etc. A day full of small seeming insignificant and unnecessary interruptions that frustrate my routine and goals. So how do I respond when those things happen? Impatience, irritability, avoidance, criticism, sarcasm, discouragement, self-indulgence, etc, etc. I normally respond the way I am wired: from my emotions, feelings, or desires. Pretty much by what please or displeases me because this ___________ has interrupted my schedule, comfort, or ease. If I look at my normal responses (Ephesians 2:3) I will see that they are usually the exact opposite of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23. THAT is what God is doing and why I am missing it. And according to verses 24-25 I have been given the Holy Spirit to enable me to respond in ways that please God rather than myself. Actually, since I profess to love Christ, my goal is no longer to please myself but Him (2 Corinthians 5:15). As as twisted as it may sound, I am finding myself looking for the difficulties God brings my way as it assures me He is working in me and it also assures me of His love (Hebrews 12).